Genesis 6 and Matthew 6 - Oh, how He loves us!

If nothing changes, nothing changes....

Genesis 6 and Matthew 6 -

Genesis 6 - God is frustrated  angry with the people of the earth.  All but Noah. He decides to destroy everything on the earth except for Noah and his family. He tells Noah that He is going to conform His covenant with Noah. He gives Noah specific directions about how to make the boat and the animals to bring on board with them.

God - God hoped man would make the right decisions but fell into sin.  God is merciful (again) and gives humans one more chance through a man named Noah.
Man - Man became sinful and disobedient. Oh, how our hearts are bent against God, even in the shadow of the Garden.
Christ - Although there have always been laws for man to follow and punishments for not following the law, God has always been a God of second chances.  Christ came and dissolved that need. He is the second, and third, and fourth, and fifty-seventh chance.
Faith - Noah trusted God and was spared.  Noah loved God and followed God despite the things going on around him. Faith may be difficult but is always rewarded.
Eternity - Drowning to me is one of my greatest fears.  The thought of drowning makes me panicky. Being destroyed by water is scary. But the thought of spending an eternity in hell away from God is worse than drowning. God can speak things into existence or death. I must fear God more and love Him more.

Matthew 6 - Jesus is delivering the Sermon on the Mount. He tells the people that they must give to the needy but do it for the right reasons; pray, but do it for the right reasons; fast, but do it for the right reasons; watch out for the desire for money and possessions (the right reasons?); and not to worry about the simple things.

God - God has provided our every need if we will just depend on Him.

Man - Those of us who claim to be followers of Christ know what to do. But oh, how our hearts are bent against God.  We do the "right" thing but in the wrong way. We do things that God calls us to do but we do them to get praise from man and not to please God.

Christ - But God.... Jesus covers the sin of all these things we do and our secret motivations behind them.

Faith - We just have to believe that He can do it and we really have to want Him to do it. Our faith cannot just be our speech or actions. It must be in our thoughts and in our hearts.

Eternity - Oh to be in heaven where our motives will always be right; where the is no sin; where we don't worry about impressing each other because our time will be spent worshipping the God of the Universe.

For me....
Wow! I often catch myself doing the right thing for the wrong reason. Does it count when I have to make myself not brag because I have done something good for someone else? Is that a start? Oh, I pray that it is. I am such a seeker of the praise of others. I so need positive reinforcement for things that I do. WHY? The God of the Universe LOVES ME! Little old me. Me - who can be selfish and greedy. Me, who struggles with sin every day. Me, who isn't the wife I need to be. Me, who fails as a mother more often than I want to count. Me, who chooses sleep over God. HE LOVES ME! And He wants to bring me JOY! ME! That is so difficult to wrap my head around.

But for today I'm going to enjoy that thought - that the God of the Universe, the One who spoke the starts into being, the One who created me and knows me by name loves me and wants to give me the desires of my heart if I will align my desires to His will. He wants to take care of me and relieve me from the worries of this world. He wants to protect me and walk with me.

2014

2014 - another new year. How is the one going to be different? A friend shared this on a Facebook post - If nothing changes, nothing changes.  Five little words that have resonated with me since I read them. How many times do I want things to change in my life, yet I change nothing? It's that classic definition of insanity - doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. I KNOW these things, but I don't really. Or I don't want to believe them? 

What is going to be different this year? It has to start with me. Each day. Each moment. I have to make different decisions. I have to change things. And since I know I cannot do it alone, I am going to start with the most important change - my time with my Creator first thing in the morning.  I KNOW how this habit changes my days and yet I still choose to sleep in more than I care to confess. Included in this time will be time to plan. I preach it in my classes but I don't live it out in my own life, in my own family.  My sweet husband has tolerated my unplanliness (great word, isn't it?) for 20 plus years. I keep saying I'm going to change and I fall back into my old ways.  So I'm hoping this is the year. I'm sincerely praying this is the year. I can't do it alone - I've tried over and over.  I truly have to depend on God to help me, to lead me, to get me out of bed in the morning. I cannot change myself, but I know HE can. And he can use me to change others. 

How do I know this? How can I hold on to this? Would God really use little old me? The girl who hates to clean and hates to plan and loves to be lazy? I'm nothing. Nobody. There's nothing special about me. 

Then I read my chapters for the day....

Genesis 1 and 2 about creation. God created the heavens and the earth. As I read these beautiful lines about creation, I really wonder how someone believes that the world just happened. Really? Things just don't happen. I have a great job that I love. Did it just happen? Did my name just appear in the head of the man who hired me - like BOOM! I think I'll call Shannon Petty? No. I had to do something - I had to fill out an application, and pay for a background check, and send in a letter and a resume, and go in for an interview. It didn't just happen. I had to do something. So as I look at the world around me, as I think about how live is reproduced, as I walk and talk and breathe, I know that those things didn't just happen.... some one, some thing, some being had to create those things. And the same being that created the heavens and earth created ME! I didn't just happen...the right two people with the right DNA had to be born, meet, fall in love and get married in order for ME to be created. Life isn't random.  It's purposeful...and some one has to be behind that purpose. So if the same being - God - who created the heavens and the earth created me, then why can't I be used by Him? He can do pretty much anything, right? But then I ask again, why me? I'm nobody special. I'm actually pretty rotten. I can be mean and grumpy. I am quick to judge and form opinions about people, and slow to change them. I am spoiled. I am stubborn. I am selfish. I am lazy. I'm really not a good person. 

Then I read Matthew 1 - 

1 This is the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah the son of David, the son of Abraham:

² Abraham was the father of Isaac,

Isaac the father of Jacob,

Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers,

³ Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar,

Perez the father of Hezron,

Hezron the father of Ram,

⁴ Ram the father of Amminadab,

Amminadab the father of Nahshon,

Nahshon the father of Salmon,

⁵ Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab,

Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth,

Obed the father of Jesse,

⁶ and Jesse the father of King David.

David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah’s wife,

⁷ Solomon the father of Rehoboam,

Rehoboam the father of Abijah,

Abijah the father of Asa,

⁸ Asa the father of Jehoshaphat,

Jehoshaphat the father of Jehoram,

Jehoram the father of Uzziah,

⁹ Uzziah the father of Jotham,

Jotham the father of Ahaz,

Ahaz the father of Hezekiah,

¹⁰ Hezekiah the father of Manasseh,

Manasseh the father of Amon,

Amon the father of Josiah,

¹¹ and Josiah the father of Jeconiah^[c] and his brothers at the time of the exile to Babylon.

¹² After the exile to Babylon:

Jeconiah was the father of Shealtiel,

Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel,

¹³ Zerubbabel the father of Abihud,

Abihud the father of Eliakim,

Eliakim the father of Azor,

¹⁴ Azor the father of Zadok,

Zadok the father of Akim,

Akim the father of Elihud,

¹⁵ Elihud the father of Eleazar,

Eleazar the father of Matthan,

Matthan the father of Jacob,

¹⁶ and Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, and Mary was the mother of Jesus who is called the Messiah.

This is just a bunch of names. How is this important? I used to think the same thing, and then I learned about those names. 

The first woman listed is Tamar. Now, you would think the first woman listed in the line of Jesus - the Messiah, savior of the world - would be an honorable, holy woman. Ummm - NO. Tamar actually was involved in incest. He husband was killed by God because he was an evil man before Tamar could get pregnant. She was then promised to his brother so the line could continue, but he was also killed by God for being evil (this was a common practice back then, so not the incestuous part). Tamar wanted a child from this line so she disguised herself as a prostitute and sold herself to her father-in-law in order to get pregnant. Not exactly the most righteous lady...yet she was used by God.

Next is Rahab. Rahab was a prostitute. She lived in Jericho and harbored two of Joshua's spies sent into town to check things out. She agreed to cover for them if they agreed to spare her family when Joshua and his army invaded Jericho. She did not know God because she was not Jewish, but she had faith in Him anyway.  Her family was spared and Jesus is her descendent as well. Again, not the most righteous of women...

Then there is Ruth. She was a Moabite who remained loyal to her mother-in-law after her husband passed away. She could have gone her own way, but she chose to be loyal. She ended up marrying another kinsmen-redeemer (another story for another time) and gave birth to Jesse, who was the father of King David.

Then we have Bathsheba.  She had an affair with King David. Then David had her husband killed to cover up his guilt. Again, not the greatest people. Yet all are in the line of Jesus.
I love this genealogy first because of all the names.  Yes, they are confusing, but they are listed in God's word, so they are important to God.  He knows all of their names, just like He knows my name.  He knew it before I was born and He will know it for all time. That makes me feel good.  And then I love this because none of these people were perfect - in fact, they were exactly the opposite of perfect. They were selfish, stubborn, mean.  All those things I am.  And if God can use these people, why can't He use me?
We are all sinners. Every one of us. And yet God created all of us. And He knew that we were going to be sinners. Yet, He still loves us. And He still wants to know us. He wants us to know Him. And if we will just do that - accept His love and get to know Him, then He will change us and use us.
So that's why I'm starting 2014 with this simple plan - to spend time getting to know the one who created me; the one who loves me so much that he sacrificed His son; the one who knows me inside and out and still shows me much love and grace and mercy. It is with His love and grace and mercy and power that I can be different this year. 

Because if something changes, then everything changes.....

Lessons from Jonah

As I was doing my reading this morning, I really had a "God moment."  Now I'm sure some of you have those ALL the time during your quiet times, but for me, they are few and far between.  I'm not blaming God - on the contrary, I take ALL the blame.  Some mornings I'm incredibly tired and it's all I can do to be awake.  Some mornings, I don't get up.  Some mornings my mind is running a million miles an hour and I can barely keep a coherent thought in my head.  Today was such a morning.... I was thinking about some struggles we are going through with our kids, I was thinking about what I need to do at work, I was thinking about what I need to do at home, I was thinking about everything really except what I was reading about.  Our preacher is doing a series on Matthew (and by "series" I mean an 8 month "series" on Matthew) and we are in Chapter 12.  I was reading about the Pharisees and how they asked Jesus to perform a miracle. Then Jesus relates his life to the lives of prophets in the past and he mentions how Jonah spent three days in the whale and how He would spend three days and nights in the heart of the earth.  Our amazing preacher, when he gives us readings that mention OT stuff sends us to read in the OT, so I headed back to Jonah.  Now I know all of us know the story of poor Jonah, and I'm sure MANY of us can relate to poor Jonah - running as far away as we can from what we KNOW God has called us to do.  Well, we read about Jonah coming into the city and sharing with the people God's word and how they immediately turned against their wicked ways and sought forgiveness.  There is a whole big message for me there, but that is not what God had in mind for me this morning.  Being the overachiever that I am, I continued to read Chapter 4.  It says,

¹ But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry. ² He prayed to the LORD, “Isn’t this what I said, LORD, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. ³ Now, LORD, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.”
 ⁴ But the LORD replied, “Is it right for you to be angry?”
 ⁵ Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. ⁶ Then the LORD God provided a leafy plant^[a] and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the plant. ⁷ But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered. ⁸ When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah’s head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, “It would be better for me to die than to live.”
 ⁹ But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?”
   “It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.”
 ¹⁰ But the LORD said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. ¹¹ And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?”

How many times have I disagreed with God and His choice to be gracious and merciful with other sinners?  Sure, I want his grace and mercy all the time, but I don't want Him to give it to people whom I decide do not deserve it.  Jonah hated the Ninevites so badly that he didn't even want to give them a chance to repent and get God's forgiveness.  He chose to run rather than to share God's good news for them.  Again, a great point right there, but that isn't what God wanted me to learn today either.  I immediately thought of my behaviors as a teacher.  I give our grace and mercy to students I deem worthy, but not to others.  God wasn't telling me to be so gracious and merciful as a teacher that I forgo all consequences of my students' actions - consequences are a very important lesson.  God was telling me that the WAY I do things needs to be full of grace and mercy.  I can get on to a student and still be merciful.  I can send a student for discipline and still show grace.  God does that for us...there will always be consequences for our behaviors, but God is there with his grace and mercy to walk us through those consequences.  He doesn't abandon us to suffer the consequences all alone because we deserve it.  He lets us experience the consequences with Him by our side. 

I always have that one student each year that I believe God puts into my classes to teach me something.  This year it is Herman (Names have been changed to protect the innocent :) ).  Herman DRIVES ME CRAZY!  Herman is your typical immature teenager - he wants everything his way when he wants it and no one is going to change his mind.  Herman never brings anything to class.  Herman never does his work, but somehow he never understands why he is failing..."I did that puzzle you gave us a week ago (actually six weeks ago)!  Didn't that bring up my grade?"  He never remembers that he failed every test he has taken and has not done homework since 7th grade.  To be completely honest, I do not like Herman.  Not at all.  I do a happy dance when I see that he is absent. I throw a party when he happens to be suspended - no, not really.  But this morning, as I read about stubborn old Jonah, I thought about myself.  God created Herman.  God loves Herman.  Jesus died on the cross for Herman.  I am a Christian.  I am supposed to be the hands and feet of Jesus.  I am supposed to love my neighbor.  But I have NOT loved Herman.  I have not shown Herman Jesus' love at all.  And I have had opportunities to be merciful....actually I have probably extended Hermany more chances than he deserved.  But have I ever stopped and explained any of this to him?  Have a ever tried to tell Herman that I do care about him, which is the reason WHY I expect more from him?  Maybe because I don't think Herman will listen.  Maybe because I don't want him to listen.  I am so much like Jonah.  He didn't want the Ninevites to have a chance at gaining God's forgiveness.  Am I doing that to Herman???  When God gave them the chance and they took it, Jonah was angry.  Would I feel that way as well? 

These are points I am pondering today as I see students come in and out of my room.  I won't see Herman today.  His choices have landed him into alternative school for a while.  So his normal class will be a little more peaceful and quiet.  But I will look at his empty desk for the next few weeks and know that I am like Jonah.  But, unlike Jonah, I won't go away angry.  Starting today, whenever I fuss at any (all) of my students, my children, I will tell them why.  I want so much more for them than they want for themselves.  I see so much potential in them, and it hurts me when I see them wasting it.  I have a plan for them in my class to make them better students, better citizens, and better people, and I don't understand why they don't trust me.  Right now, in this place, I know what they need...I know what is best for them...I can give them those things if they trust me, if they do what I say, if they follow my rules.  Sounds familiar...........

Hooray! I did it again...

Look, Mom, I've blogged again.

I have been reading some other women's blogs - you know, the "famous" ones, and have really learned a lot from them and have been inspired by their words.  So, I am back again, hoping maybe to inspire someone with my words...or at least have my words down for my kids to read (make fun of?) one day.

I finally found the John Piper book I had started previously in my quest to fall in love with Jesus more.  Man, John Piper is HEA -VY!  But what an amazing man!  So blessed by God to be able to comprehend and explain what seems to be incomprehensible and inexplicable.  (Big words - I AM an English teacher, after all).  So I picked up where I left of - on reason 5 of why Christ had to die ( You too can download it free online! and stump your human mind with such Godly wisdom).  Not sure I can explain it, but I will try.

Reason 5 To show the wealth of God's love and grace for sinners -

Basically, we are so unworthy of God's great gift to us, but is there a better way to show unconditional love than to sacrifice your own son for a people who are unworthy of even a small second in your presence?

My favorite quote is this -

There is only one explanation for God’s sacrifice for us. It is not us. It is “the riches of his grace” (Ephesians 1:7). It is all free. It is not a response to our worth. It is the overflow of his infinite worth. In fact, that is what divine love is in the end: a passion to enthrall undeserving sinners, at great cost, with what will make us supremely happy forever, namely, his infinite beauty.


If you think about having kids, deep down don't you really want to make your kids supremely happy forever? Yes, I know that that's a horrible idea and our kids would turn out to be horrible spoiled lazy brats, but forget that for a moment.  Wouldn't you make all of their mistakes for them if you could? Take care of them forever? Give them whatever they want? While none of that compares to what God has to offer, it is all we can wrap our human minds around.  If we didn't believe in God or heaven, and wanted to be happy with what we have here, we would want our lives to be easy and trouble-free with everything we could ever want available to us at any time.  But thankfully, we DO believe in God and what He has for us to make us supremely happy forever is SO much better than anything this world has to offer.  So what does He do?  Because He loves us, he has scarified His OWN SON (great cost) to give us what will make us supremely happy - Himself.  And He did that for our underserving selves.  I love that line - "a passion to enthrall undeserving sinners..."  not just a desire, but a PASSION.  Not just to invite us to join him, but to ENTHRALL us.  He wouldn't merely like for some people to join Him, but He has a passion to draw us to Him and to make us SUPREMELY happy.  Not just happy.  Not just REALLY happy. SUPREMELY happy.  When was the last time you were really happy?  Date night? The last time all the kids went to bed early.  I've been really happy.  I've even been VERY happy.  But supremely happy????  That isn't even a blip on my radar.  


Oh, and I missed the BEST part of this quote...look back near the beginning....IT IS ALL FREE!!!  Did you catch that???  It is not a response to our worth, because compared to a holy God, we are worthless.  He just does it because His love for us is so great.  That concept, while incredibly amazing and welcoming, is another thing that is just so difficult for our worldly minds to accept.  Everything we do seems to have something tied to it.  We work to make money.  We drive to get where we want to go.  We do a favor for someone in case we need one in return.  While we may not call it karma, we all believe that what goes around, comes around.  But there is NOTHING we could ever do to make ourselves worthy of God's love and sacrifice.  Nothing?  Yup, nothing.  How about reading my Bible every day? Nope.  Fasting for 40 days? Nah.  Selling my children and giving the money to charity? Uh- uh.  Giving all of my designer clothes to the poor? Nada. Selling all of my possessions and becoming a missionary in the poorest area on earth? Not even close.  Giving up sweets or beer for Lent?  REALLY????  Our piddly little sacrifices mean nothing to God and they certainly won't help us earn his love and forgiveness.  What WILL work, you ask? You!  Me?  Yes you!  God wants each and every one of us to accept His free gift of SUPREME happiness.  So why do we resist??  Why do we find it so difficult to accept a gift?  Why do we want to attach strings to everything?  God wants YOU...ALL of you.  All of the sin, the anger, the heartache, the pain, the doubt, the worry, the fear, the pride, the selfishness, the good, the bad, and especially the ugly...then HE will make you SUPREMELY happy and beautiful...in HIS image...


That's all I can handle for tonight.  Gonna go to bed and wrap my head around my pillow.  Until next time...

yeah, yeah, I know...

Well, I did it again...

I started blogging and then JUST STOPPED!!!

Story of my life.  My husband would say I never finish anything I start.  Sad thing is, he is correct.  I have lots of "projects" or "things I want to do" that I never finish.

So here I am on my blog again....wanting to start...again....

We'll see.  No promises.  But I do need a place to write...and what good is writing it no one sees it....

So I'm going to start over....again....Hopefully you, my friends and loyal reader, will be as forgiving as my heavenly Father is....and ride this bumpy ride with me....again....

Ummm, we'll call this day 4 and be done with it

Ok. I must be a little proud and brag on myself - I have exercised 2 days in a row AND I have cut my sweet tea consumption by 90%.  Hopefully, this will lead me on my road to dropping the weight preventing me from wearing my cute clothes.

Anyway, I finally decided to move ahead to reasons 2, 3, and 4 of Why Jesus Came to die.  WOW is the only word I can say.  This book is definitely a must-read.  John Piper is truly gifted by God to put such difficult truths into language I can understand.

Reason 2 To Please His Heavenly Father - 

I never cease to be amazed by the fact that God planned to have Jesus die on a cross for the sins of the world BEFORE creation.  As he was making plans to create man and earth, He KNEW we would screw up everything...and he did it ANYWAY! Ha!  I'm not sure I would follow through with a plan that I knew was going to fail and I was going to have to create a second option before I even started????!!!! Come on! He KNEW we would sin! He KNEW HE would have to destroy the earth with a flood! He KNEW I would make every single mistake I have made!  HE KNEW EVERYTHING...and He still went through with it.  If that doesn't make you see God's love for us, then you need to check your pulse.

Don't miss this....pouring out His wrath for the sins of the world on His own son was HIS idea!!!  Jesus didn't stop and say "Hey, Dad, you know, instead of punished all those sinful people, maybe I could take their place and you could just punish me....how does that sound?" NO!  Before time began, God knew he would pour out his wrath on his only son. Not only that but Jesus also willingly received that wrath.  The beauty is that in his willingness to receive the wrath of the father, the son became the perfect sacrifice.  He didn't say, "No, now I have never done anything wrong.  Don't lump me in with those heathens on earth.  They deserve what they get."  He willingly came to earth, handled temptations like ours and then suffered and died on a cross.  Wow!

Reason 3 - Christ suffered and died to learn obedience and be perfected

When I feel like the temptation of sin is just too much to bear, I just give in.  It's much easier that way.  But, as my spiritual hero David Platt explains so eloquently, Christ was tempted even more because he NEVER gave in.  Think of it like you're dieting.  Someone comes in and sits an apple in front of you and walks away.  Not a bad thing to eat, but you've had too many calories today so you really don't need to eat it.  Besides, it's just an apple right? Who wants to break their diet for an apple?  Then, someone brings in a bag of chips - your favorite. Oooh, now it gets harder to resist.  Just a few chips won't hurt, right???  NO! Chips aren't worth it either.  Then an order of hot, delicious fries are placed before you. You can smell their greasy deliciousness.  It is so difficult to resist.  But you do, until a big piece of your favorite Johnny Ray's pie is placed in front of you.  Now THAT is worth cheating over, so you dig in.  Christ wouldn't give in.  HE would sit and look at that pie, and watch as a big glass of sweet tea was placed on the table, and the warm chocolate yumminess made on a Carnival Cruise was put on the table (still hot with ice cream on the side...heavenly) and a juicy burger with all the fixings, and fried chicken, and cake, and ice cream, and every other delicious thing imaginable.  Most normal people would just give up and dig in to something (warm chocolate yumminess - I'm sure it has a name, but I like this one better...more exact), but Christ sits there and resists every delicious, tempting food placed in front of him.  I know that sounds simplistic compared to sin, but His temptation was so much greater than ours because we give in before it gets too bad and he NEVER gave in.  Piper makes this amazing point about Christ's temptation - If the son of God had gone from incarnation to the cross without a life of temptation and pain to test his righteousness and love, he would not be a suitable Savior for fallen man.  He had to KNOW what we were going through and still resist it all in order for his sacrifice to be perfect.  

Reason 4 - Christ Suffered and Died To Achieve his own Resurrection from the Dead

This one is cool, but it's deep.  And I get it, but I don't know if I can explain it.  Basically, Piper says that Jesus HAD to shed his blood as the price for our sins and he HAD to die. The wrath of God was satisfied with the suffering and death of Jesus. But God had to prove that this was enough, so he raised Jesus from the dead.  I Corinthians 15:17 says "If Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins." The resurrection of Christ PROVES that his suffering and death were enough to cover the sins of every man and woman who would ever live.  Thank God for the resurrection.  Easter will have a totally new meaning to me this year.  

This is a lot of deep stuff, and I am still pondering over it.  But it really is helping me see how much God loves us.  And how can I not return that love, knowing that I am a recipient of his grace and mercy.  How can I not love a creator who knew I was going to screw up, yet he created me anyway and gave me the opportunity to have my screw-ups erased from his memory - no matter how unholy they are? Let this sink in, as I plan to.  Pray and meditate on his grace and mercy.  Think about where you would be without his love.  Ask yourself  how you can know this information and NOT want to share it with others?  I want to be so filled with love for God that it flows from every pore of my body.  I want to want to share his love with every single person I meet.  I want his eyes so that I can see others with his love and compassion.

Wow, sorry this is so long.  Until next time.....

Who knows what day this is????

Ok, honestly, I haven't really been doing as well as I should.  But I have been a little busy.  On the 11th, I went with Brandon to Montgomery for the Future Problem Solvers State Competition.  My plan was to get him from dinner and swimming, drop him off in the assigned room so that he could work on his skit and then retreat to my hotel room for some good "God time."  But as we got the kids dropped off, I decided to spend some time with the other moms on the trip.  For those of you who aren't aware, we live an extra-crazy life.  We live in Leeds, attend school in Clay, and attend church on 280, so we have lots of friends in lots of different places.  It takes effort for me to get to know the parents of the students in my kid's classes.  I did a much better job getting to know Blake's friends' parents.  And, strangely enough, many of Blake's friends have little sisters Julia's age, so I know them also.  I have never made much of an effort to get to know the parents of Brandon's friends, so I chose to take the opportunity while I had it to get to know the ladies on the trip with me.  I'm very glad I did.  It is so encouraging in this crazy world we live in to know that my children are surrounded by Christian families.  So, while our kids were making up their awesome skit, I got to know two very special ladies.  There went that time.  But since my son did his own thing on the car ride up and back, I did get in a lot of meditation and quiet time.  One thing I realized on my way to the campground is that I really have NO control over what happens to my kids as they grow up.  Yes, I can do my best to make sure they follow my rules and become good, moral people, but I cannot shoulder that responsibility alone.  I can do everything right for the 18 years they are under my roof and they can still choose to go a different way.  Or, I can do nothing right, and my kids can become missionaries and prophets if God so chooses.  So basically I realized that while I am responsible for teaching them that God loves them and has an amazing plan for their lives and all the other stuff, only God can take that knowledge and bring it to fruition.  So one thing I did learn is that as long as I am doing everything I can do, I am ok...only God can do the rest.  That also reminds me of something I learned a long time ago while attending AA meetings with my father - the serenity prayer.  How many times had I prayed it before it REALLY sank in.  The ONLY person on this entire earth I have power over to change is ME!  Not my husband, my children, my students, my co-workers, no one. As much as I would LOVE to change some people, I can't.  I can only change my reaction to them or the time I spend with them.  This applies to my children as well.  I can only teach them the information they need to know and show them how things should be, but it's completely up to them to make the changes in their lives.  While it doesn't entirely take off the pressure, it is good to know that the sole responsibility for my children does not lie with me.  Thank goodness, because I don't entirely have my stuff together.  God can take the worst of the worst and turn him into a preacher or a prophet.  All I can do is pray and love.  And I can do those pretty easily.

Spring Break was A-Mazing!!!!  It was fun to sit around the camp fire and talk.  It's so special to look at the faces around the fire and marvel at what God has done in my life, who He has brought into it, and where He has led us.  It is also cool that all of us are so like-minded where our kids are concerned.  We all believe that it truly takes a village to raise a child (and trust me, we look like a village when we camp) so we all look out for each other's children.  We also all have the same goals for our kids.  We have similar morals and values. Our camping theme is "Making memories."  We want our kids to be kids as long as they can...and they were kids last week.  I still smile when I think of the hikes and stories we heard of their activities.  I also smile when I remember the beauty of God's creation that we camped in.  I still wonder how someone can see an intricate flower blossom or a water fall and NOT know in their heart that it didn't just "happen."

Platt came into my life.  And while I hear it often, I don't know if I have truly grasped this concept.  Yes, I understand that God is holy and perfect.  But I truly believe our culture today has dulled us to the way God sees our sins.  And I have fallen victim to that mentality.  Because honestly, I don't think I'm a bad person, not compared to Sally, who cheats on her husband, or John, who abuses his wife, or Frank, who molested his child...those are BAD people and I've done nothing like that.  While I know, and often remind others, that God sees ALL sins as bad, I still justify that my little white lie to the neighbor so I won't have to watch her kids isn't nearly as bad as the gay neighbor down the street. Surely, I am not the only person in the world who does this?
Let me give you some of Piper's best quotes before I go on...

I f God were not just, there would be no demand for his Son to 

suffer and die. And if God were not loving, there would be no will- 

ingness for his Son to suffer and die. But God is both just and loving. 

Therefore his love is willing to meet the demands of his justice. 

But we have all loved other things more. This 

is what sin is—dishonoring God by preferring other things over 

him, and acting on those preferences

Ok, I could just copy the whole chapter, but instead I'm going to put the link so you can read it yourself...

http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/online-books/fifty-reasons-why-jesus-came-to-die

Piper goes on to say that our sin is not small because our God is not small, and failure to love him is treason.  He also says that God cannot ignore our sins because of his justness.  But, my favorite line is "God is not content to show wrath, no matter how holy it is.  Therefore God sends his own Son to absorb his wrath and bear the curse for all who trust him." This is an amazing thought! But don't miss the next one...

"We will never stand in awe of being loved by God until we reckon with the seriousness of our sin and the justice of his wrath against us."  He nailed it for me.  I so want to be in awe of God and his love for me, but I haven't reckoned myself with the seriousness of my sinful nature.  And this statement is my goal.  So as I close out my random blog for the day, I ask that you pray for me in my quest for understanding the seriousness of my sin so that I can stand in awe of God and His love for me.

Maybe now I can move on to reason 2.....Until next time.....