Ummm, we'll call this day 4 and be done with it

Ok. I must be a little proud and brag on myself - I have exercised 2 days in a row AND I have cut my sweet tea consumption by 90%.  Hopefully, this will lead me on my road to dropping the weight preventing me from wearing my cute clothes.

Anyway, I finally decided to move ahead to reasons 2, 3, and 4 of Why Jesus Came to die.  WOW is the only word I can say.  This book is definitely a must-read.  John Piper is truly gifted by God to put such difficult truths into language I can understand.

Reason 2 To Please His Heavenly Father - 

I never cease to be amazed by the fact that God planned to have Jesus die on a cross for the sins of the world BEFORE creation.  As he was making plans to create man and earth, He KNEW we would screw up everything...and he did it ANYWAY! Ha!  I'm not sure I would follow through with a plan that I knew was going to fail and I was going to have to create a second option before I even started????!!!! Come on! He KNEW we would sin! He KNEW HE would have to destroy the earth with a flood! He KNEW I would make every single mistake I have made!  HE KNEW EVERYTHING...and He still went through with it.  If that doesn't make you see God's love for us, then you need to check your pulse.

Don't miss this....pouring out His wrath for the sins of the world on His own son was HIS idea!!!  Jesus didn't stop and say "Hey, Dad, you know, instead of punished all those sinful people, maybe I could take their place and you could just punish me....how does that sound?" NO!  Before time began, God knew he would pour out his wrath on his only son. Not only that but Jesus also willingly received that wrath.  The beauty is that in his willingness to receive the wrath of the father, the son became the perfect sacrifice.  He didn't say, "No, now I have never done anything wrong.  Don't lump me in with those heathens on earth.  They deserve what they get."  He willingly came to earth, handled temptations like ours and then suffered and died on a cross.  Wow!

Reason 3 - Christ suffered and died to learn obedience and be perfected

When I feel like the temptation of sin is just too much to bear, I just give in.  It's much easier that way.  But, as my spiritual hero David Platt explains so eloquently, Christ was tempted even more because he NEVER gave in.  Think of it like you're dieting.  Someone comes in and sits an apple in front of you and walks away.  Not a bad thing to eat, but you've had too many calories today so you really don't need to eat it.  Besides, it's just an apple right? Who wants to break their diet for an apple?  Then, someone brings in a bag of chips - your favorite. Oooh, now it gets harder to resist.  Just a few chips won't hurt, right???  NO! Chips aren't worth it either.  Then an order of hot, delicious fries are placed before you. You can smell their greasy deliciousness.  It is so difficult to resist.  But you do, until a big piece of your favorite Johnny Ray's pie is placed in front of you.  Now THAT is worth cheating over, so you dig in.  Christ wouldn't give in.  HE would sit and look at that pie, and watch as a big glass of sweet tea was placed on the table, and the warm chocolate yumminess made on a Carnival Cruise was put on the table (still hot with ice cream on the side...heavenly) and a juicy burger with all the fixings, and fried chicken, and cake, and ice cream, and every other delicious thing imaginable.  Most normal people would just give up and dig in to something (warm chocolate yumminess - I'm sure it has a name, but I like this one better...more exact), but Christ sits there and resists every delicious, tempting food placed in front of him.  I know that sounds simplistic compared to sin, but His temptation was so much greater than ours because we give in before it gets too bad and he NEVER gave in.  Piper makes this amazing point about Christ's temptation - If the son of God had gone from incarnation to the cross without a life of temptation and pain to test his righteousness and love, he would not be a suitable Savior for fallen man.  He had to KNOW what we were going through and still resist it all in order for his sacrifice to be perfect.  

Reason 4 - Christ Suffered and Died To Achieve his own Resurrection from the Dead

This one is cool, but it's deep.  And I get it, but I don't know if I can explain it.  Basically, Piper says that Jesus HAD to shed his blood as the price for our sins and he HAD to die. The wrath of God was satisfied with the suffering and death of Jesus. But God had to prove that this was enough, so he raised Jesus from the dead.  I Corinthians 15:17 says "If Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins." The resurrection of Christ PROVES that his suffering and death were enough to cover the sins of every man and woman who would ever live.  Thank God for the resurrection.  Easter will have a totally new meaning to me this year.  

This is a lot of deep stuff, and I am still pondering over it.  But it really is helping me see how much God loves us.  And how can I not return that love, knowing that I am a recipient of his grace and mercy.  How can I not love a creator who knew I was going to screw up, yet he created me anyway and gave me the opportunity to have my screw-ups erased from his memory - no matter how unholy they are? Let this sink in, as I plan to.  Pray and meditate on his grace and mercy.  Think about where you would be without his love.  Ask yourself  how you can know this information and NOT want to share it with others?  I want to be so filled with love for God that it flows from every pore of my body.  I want to want to share his love with every single person I meet.  I want his eyes so that I can see others with his love and compassion.

Wow, sorry this is so long.  Until next time.....

Who knows what day this is????

Ok, honestly, I haven't really been doing as well as I should.  But I have been a little busy.  On the 11th, I went with Brandon to Montgomery for the Future Problem Solvers State Competition.  My plan was to get him from dinner and swimming, drop him off in the assigned room so that he could work on his skit and then retreat to my hotel room for some good "God time."  But as we got the kids dropped off, I decided to spend some time with the other moms on the trip.  For those of you who aren't aware, we live an extra-crazy life.  We live in Leeds, attend school in Clay, and attend church on 280, so we have lots of friends in lots of different places.  It takes effort for me to get to know the parents of the students in my kid's classes.  I did a much better job getting to know Blake's friends' parents.  And, strangely enough, many of Blake's friends have little sisters Julia's age, so I know them also.  I have never made much of an effort to get to know the parents of Brandon's friends, so I chose to take the opportunity while I had it to get to know the ladies on the trip with me.  I'm very glad I did.  It is so encouraging in this crazy world we live in to know that my children are surrounded by Christian families.  So, while our kids were making up their awesome skit, I got to know two very special ladies.  There went that time.  But since my son did his own thing on the car ride up and back, I did get in a lot of meditation and quiet time.  One thing I realized on my way to the campground is that I really have NO control over what happens to my kids as they grow up.  Yes, I can do my best to make sure they follow my rules and become good, moral people, but I cannot shoulder that responsibility alone.  I can do everything right for the 18 years they are under my roof and they can still choose to go a different way.  Or, I can do nothing right, and my kids can become missionaries and prophets if God so chooses.  So basically I realized that while I am responsible for teaching them that God loves them and has an amazing plan for their lives and all the other stuff, only God can take that knowledge and bring it to fruition.  So one thing I did learn is that as long as I am doing everything I can do, I am ok...only God can do the rest.  That also reminds me of something I learned a long time ago while attending AA meetings with my father - the serenity prayer.  How many times had I prayed it before it REALLY sank in.  The ONLY person on this entire earth I have power over to change is ME!  Not my husband, my children, my students, my co-workers, no one. As much as I would LOVE to change some people, I can't.  I can only change my reaction to them or the time I spend with them.  This applies to my children as well.  I can only teach them the information they need to know and show them how things should be, but it's completely up to them to make the changes in their lives.  While it doesn't entirely take off the pressure, it is good to know that the sole responsibility for my children does not lie with me.  Thank goodness, because I don't entirely have my stuff together.  God can take the worst of the worst and turn him into a preacher or a prophet.  All I can do is pray and love.  And I can do those pretty easily.

Spring Break was A-Mazing!!!!  It was fun to sit around the camp fire and talk.  It's so special to look at the faces around the fire and marvel at what God has done in my life, who He has brought into it, and where He has led us.  It is also cool that all of us are so like-minded where our kids are concerned.  We all believe that it truly takes a village to raise a child (and trust me, we look like a village when we camp) so we all look out for each other's children.  We also all have the same goals for our kids.  We have similar morals and values. Our camping theme is "Making memories."  We want our kids to be kids as long as they can...and they were kids last week.  I still smile when I think of the hikes and stories we heard of their activities.  I also smile when I remember the beauty of God's creation that we camped in.  I still wonder how someone can see an intricate flower blossom or a water fall and NOT know in their heart that it didn't just "happen."

Platt came into my life.  And while I hear it often, I don't know if I have truly grasped this concept.  Yes, I understand that God is holy and perfect.  But I truly believe our culture today has dulled us to the way God sees our sins.  And I have fallen victim to that mentality.  Because honestly, I don't think I'm a bad person, not compared to Sally, who cheats on her husband, or John, who abuses his wife, or Frank, who molested his child...those are BAD people and I've done nothing like that.  While I know, and often remind others, that God sees ALL sins as bad, I still justify that my little white lie to the neighbor so I won't have to watch her kids isn't nearly as bad as the gay neighbor down the street. Surely, I am not the only person in the world who does this?
Let me give you some of Piper's best quotes before I go on...

I f God were not just, there would be no demand for his Son to 

suffer and die. And if God were not loving, there would be no will- 

ingness for his Son to suffer and die. But God is both just and loving. 

Therefore his love is willing to meet the demands of his justice. 

But we have all loved other things more. This 

is what sin is—dishonoring God by preferring other things over 

him, and acting on those preferences

Ok, I could just copy the whole chapter, but instead I'm going to put the link so you can read it yourself...

http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/online-books/fifty-reasons-why-jesus-came-to-die

Piper goes on to say that our sin is not small because our God is not small, and failure to love him is treason.  He also says that God cannot ignore our sins because of his justness.  But, my favorite line is "God is not content to show wrath, no matter how holy it is.  Therefore God sends his own Son to absorb his wrath and bear the curse for all who trust him." This is an amazing thought! But don't miss the next one...

"We will never stand in awe of being loved by God until we reckon with the seriousness of our sin and the justice of his wrath against us."  He nailed it for me.  I so want to be in awe of God and his love for me, but I haven't reckoned myself with the seriousness of my sinful nature.  And this statement is my goal.  So as I close out my random blog for the day, I ask that you pray for me in my quest for understanding the seriousness of my sin so that I can stand in awe of God and His love for me.

Maybe now I can move on to reason 2.....Until next time.....

Day One - FAIL

I am very sad to report that today didn't go as planned, and I really can't blame it on my lack of follow through either.  Had a chiropractor appointment right after school, then had to cook, then off to church.  While I didn't necessarily spend time in study, I did have some great praise time in the car and while I was cooking dinner.  
I'm one of those people who pays attention to the words of songs (much to my children's chagrin), so singing along to me is like a prayer.  One of my favorites is "He Reigns" which I think is by Newsong (maybe others).  But our church has a version on the Awaken CD that really gives me chills.  I will never forget being in Venezuela several years ago...two memories stand out most...First, I LOVED cruising around Maracaibo in the pimped out bus with the Awaken CD blaring and all of us singing to the top of our lungs.  There is something heavenly singing "He Reigns" in a foreign country along with Venezuelans.  Very cool.  The other thing I remember was being in church on Sunday and hearing voices in English and Spanish singing praises to God - just a very small taste of heaven!  I think that's when I feel closest to God, when I'm praising Him in song.  One day I'll blog about the lyrics that mean the most to me.


But I have been reading a book that has made me think...Unspoken by Francine Rivers.  First of all, if you haven't read Redeeming Love by her, then stop what you are doing, go get the book and read it NOW!  Probably the BEST book I've EVER read (and trust me, I've read a bunch of books).  Now, Unspoken is part of a series about the lesser known women of the Bible and this one is about Bathsheba.  It's a fictional account of what might possibly have happened in Bathsheba's life before and after her affair with David.  Great read and it really gave me something to think about.  In the story, Bathsheba is a child and her family is following David while Saul is still reigning.  At one point, Bathesheba has a HUGE crush on David and is all upset about something and her mother says to her "You should spend your time worshipping God and not a man" or something to that affect.  WOW!  I wish my mother had said that to me a long time ago.  That really spoke to me.  How often do I put other Christians on pedestals thinking that they are "gods."  It's my own fault, but I get really upset when those people I have made into a god disappoint me.  DUH!  I feel like God has to slap me across the face to remind me that they are human just like me, not just like Him.  I cannot expect them to be perfect, but I do.  And then I don't understand or I am let down when they do something perfectly human that shatters my image of them.  Surely I'm not the only person guilty of that.  Another friend once told me that you go to church to worship God, not to follow a man.  She told me that right before our former pastor resigned and everyone was wondering "oh no, what will happen to our church? who can ever replace Him???"  Ha! God showed them!  
As a high school teacher I hear a lot of non-Christian kids talk about the Christian kids, and of course, their biggest complaint is that they are hypocrites.  You know the ones - party on Friday and Saturday nights and then sing in the choir on Sunday mornings.  We have messed up the Gospel so badly that they don't just God by who HE is; they judge God by us, by church-going Christians who are sinners and screw-ups.  I want to find a way to share God that doesn't make being a Christian seem like work.  I want to share with them a God who loves all of us, even in our badness and sin.  I want them to know that they don't have to be "good" to get to God - they can never be good enough, no one can.  I want them to know that God can save them in their deepest darkest pit - and He will come to them to do it.  Figuring out how to share that with them is the problem.  I want to teach them not to put their faith and hope in people, but in a God who is perfect and holy and just; who loves them for them.  (Break into song with me now....not for what I have done or who I will become....)


So, what has God taught me today in my first day of failure?  That I am a perfectly flawed human being and HE loves me still.  I so love the sermons when David reminds us that God doesn't keep track of quiet times and scripture memory; that there's no magical card that we have to check things off of; that we can DO nothing to get us to God.  God loves me whether or not I watched TV tonight; He loves me whether or not I write in the blog; He loves me when I'm frustrated because I only have 40 minutes to fry chicken before I have to leave for church and my children are making me want to scream.  And I'm SO incredibly thankful for that...because some days, I don't love myself...I don't even like myself...in fact, if I could leave myself, I would because I am so miserable to be around.  But He loves us even then, friends.  So onward I journey to learn to love God and to desire God as much as He desires me.


Until next time....

Why am I doing this?

Well, I tried blogging once before but it didn't go so well.  Why, you ask?  Well, to be honest, I never could (and STILL can't) remember the password to actually get into my old account.  It's not that I didn't want to blog, but it just never happened for me.  So, here I go....Shannon Petty blogging, take two.

Here is my goal (and I'm hoping that since I'm posting it on the world wide web for the wide world to see that I stick to it) - to grow closer to God.  Maybe to understand this, I need to get a little more transparent.  I grew up in church and prayed "the prayer" at 10 or 11.  Did I understand what I was doing?  Well...yes and no.  I knew I didn't want to go to hell, I mean who does, right?  If you believe in that sort of thing then hell sounds pretty miserable.  And at 10 or 11, when you still have an active imagination, hell is REALLY miserable.  The other reason was that I have always felt God.  And I knew that night that God was with me and was calling me.  So I prayed...and then I went on living life as usual.  Isn't that what happens to most new Christians?  They pray and get high on God for a few days, and then the real world creeps back in and life goes back to whatever normal was before "the prayer."  While I'm sure I was counted in the numbers that night of people who went to the alter, no one told me what happened next.  No one explained that Christ would not only be my Savior, but also my Lord.  No one talked about the relationship part.  Again, doesn't that happen today?  Aren't we excited about announcing how many people were "saved" at this or that event...but what happens to them afterward?

On with my story....I basically lived a pretty "good" life throughout high school. I did the normal bad things...drank some, stayed out too late, lied to my parents....but all in all, I wasn't too bad.  When I ask myself why now, I have to say it was because I wanted to make my parents, especially my father, proud of me.  The thought of disappointing him was devestating.  So I did the "right" things in order to please him.  Usually, I was the D.D. and I really didn't mind.  Then I met a boy, well I knew him most of my life (small town), but then I fell in love with him.  And I truly believe I loved him as much as I knew about love at that age.  And I began to want to please him (see a theme here???), so I did things that I knew God wouldn't want me to do, but more important to me, they were things my FATHER wouldn't want me to do.  Quite the conundrum.  But I chose pleasing the boy over the fathers.  I wish I could convince EVERY girl I teach that it is so NOT worth it...but that's a story for another day.

I think college was the first place I was really aware of God working in my life.  I went potluck on the room and roommate my freshman year.  Only God could have placed me where He did surrounded by the people He chose.  My roommate was not the Godliest of young women, but every other young woman on my hall was.  I made some amazing friends, many of whom changed my life in one way or another.  That was the first time in my life I saw people who actually had a relationship with God.  It wasn't just a religion for these girls...they truly loved God and wanted to know Him more and more.  And so did I, for a while.  I guess it's time for another confession here....I'm not good at follow-through.  Ask my husband, he'll tell you.  I have LOTS of great ideas, and I often start them, but then I get bored or something more attractive comes along and I get sidetracked.  So I'll say that's what happened here, I got sidetracked by college life...sorority life...party life...social life...you name it.  But, again, God was so faithful while I was being sidetracked.  My second semester, I roomed with a precious Christian girl whom I miss terribly.  My sorority was filled with Christian girls...some who walked with God and some like me.  It could have been worse, but God was faithful.  That doesn't mean Satan didn't mess with me all that time...he did.  But I had grown closer to God and it was a little easier for me to discern what God wanted me to do.  But I was still a pleaser and I still lacked follow-through.  Not a good combination.

My last year of college I met my future husband.  And again, looking back at how things played out, it could only have been orchestrated by God.  I should have been in Disney World that summer, but I wasn't.  He is SO good.  Within a year of meeting him, his father died, my father got sick and died, and we were married.  I always felt that if we could survive all that, we could survive anything.  The beginning of our marriage was not spent looking for a church home.  We grew up in very different church backgrounds, so although I knew what we should be doing, I was just enjoying being a wife.  Having kids changed that.  There are other things that happened, but since they are part of "our" history and not just mine anymore, I'll skip those things.  I can just say that one of the greatest days of my life was being Baptized with my husband and first born son.

So, after all that, I still don't feel that I KNOW God.  He has sent some amazing women into my life who are SO in-love with Him.  Young women who KNOW the Bible and KNOW how to put God first in everything.  Don't ever say you can't learn something from those who are younger than you.  These young women that God has put in my path in only a way God could do it have changed my life.  God has used them to create a desire in me to KNOW Him in the way they do.  I want to be in-love with Jesus.  I want to choose spending time with God over doing frivilous, life-wasting things.  I want to be able to comfort my friends with scripture, with words that are God-breathed, not Shannon-breathed.  See, I can play "Christian" with the best of them.  I can say the right things at the right time, I can volunteer for the "cool" Christian stuff. I can even sacrifice some of my free time to do something that involves serving others.  I might even be able to quote a verse or two.  But can I say that I KNOW God?  Can I say that I KNOW where God's will is going to take me?  Can I say I trust God completely?  Can I say that I want God more than I want stuff?  I don't know...sometimes yes, others no.  I feel so completely inadequate in my relationship with Him.  I think there is a lot of stuff about God that I know in my head and I believe in my head, but I don't in my heart.  Does that make sense?  I believe that Jesus died for me on a cross so that I could spend eternity in heaven with Him; I believe that He has a plan for my life that is far greater than what I can imagine; I believe that only He can keep my marriage together in this crazy world; I believe that He is in control and is sovereign over everything. I DO believe these things...but do I trust Him in those things?  Do I let him have control over my life?  To quote my amazing pastor...am I willing to lay down my life as a blank check to God?  Am I in-love with Jesus?  Honestly...I don't know.

So, now you know where I am.  My hope is that in the days leading up to Easter, that through various books, verses, and lots of praying that I will come to understand my sinfulness and His holiness; that I will understand exactly how wretched I am and how lost I would be without Him; that I will always remember that I bring nothing to the table and He brings everything; that I want to live a life that brings God glory and to understand that I can't do that without God.  Ambitious you say....yes, it is.  But where I can't do any of these things, God can do them in me.  I know that I am almost there...I have felt it before, but I have allowed Satan to pull me back to my earthly desires and convince me that my life is fine just the way it is.

The plan is to give up television from 3:00 pm until 9:00 pm until Easter.  (Yes, I am going to DVR my shows, but the plan is not to give up TV, but to quit letting TV suck my time before I spend time with God).  Those hours will now be used to spend quality time with God in study and prayer, time with my family, and hopefully I can get some exercise in there too.  I also want to use that time to share with anyone who cares...or who doesn't....what God is revealing to me during this time.  I can't be the only person out there who feels this way.  Hopefully, by blogging this journey, I can reach someone else who is almost there and bring them with me into the light of His holiness.   Hopefully, God will use ME to change someone else's life.  We'll see....only He knows the plan....I'm just working on my obedience.

If you do decide to follow me on this journey and you see I haven't posted in a while, then send me an email or something to keep me accountable and to make sure I haven't forgotten my password.  (Yes, I will write it down somewhere...but then I have to remember where I put it....oh, it's a never-ending battle in my head) As I've said before...I lack follow-through and Satan loves to use that against me.

Until next time.....