2014

2014 - another new year. How is the one going to be different? A friend shared this on a Facebook post - If nothing changes, nothing changes.  Five little words that have resonated with me since I read them. How many times do I want things to change in my life, yet I change nothing? It's that classic definition of insanity - doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. I KNOW these things, but I don't really. Or I don't want to believe them? 

What is going to be different this year? It has to start with me. Each day. Each moment. I have to make different decisions. I have to change things. And since I know I cannot do it alone, I am going to start with the most important change - my time with my Creator first thing in the morning.  I KNOW how this habit changes my days and yet I still choose to sleep in more than I care to confess. Included in this time will be time to plan. I preach it in my classes but I don't live it out in my own life, in my own family.  My sweet husband has tolerated my unplanliness (great word, isn't it?) for 20 plus years. I keep saying I'm going to change and I fall back into my old ways.  So I'm hoping this is the year. I'm sincerely praying this is the year. I can't do it alone - I've tried over and over.  I truly have to depend on God to help me, to lead me, to get me out of bed in the morning. I cannot change myself, but I know HE can. And he can use me to change others. 

How do I know this? How can I hold on to this? Would God really use little old me? The girl who hates to clean and hates to plan and loves to be lazy? I'm nothing. Nobody. There's nothing special about me. 

Then I read my chapters for the day....

Genesis 1 and 2 about creation. God created the heavens and the earth. As I read these beautiful lines about creation, I really wonder how someone believes that the world just happened. Really? Things just don't happen. I have a great job that I love. Did it just happen? Did my name just appear in the head of the man who hired me - like BOOM! I think I'll call Shannon Petty? No. I had to do something - I had to fill out an application, and pay for a background check, and send in a letter and a resume, and go in for an interview. It didn't just happen. I had to do something. So as I look at the world around me, as I think about how live is reproduced, as I walk and talk and breathe, I know that those things didn't just happen.... some one, some thing, some being had to create those things. And the same being that created the heavens and earth created ME! I didn't just happen...the right two people with the right DNA had to be born, meet, fall in love and get married in order for ME to be created. Life isn't random.  It's purposeful...and some one has to be behind that purpose. So if the same being - God - who created the heavens and the earth created me, then why can't I be used by Him? He can do pretty much anything, right? But then I ask again, why me? I'm nobody special. I'm actually pretty rotten. I can be mean and grumpy. I am quick to judge and form opinions about people, and slow to change them. I am spoiled. I am stubborn. I am selfish. I am lazy. I'm really not a good person. 

Then I read Matthew 1 - 

1 This is the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah the son of David, the son of Abraham:

² Abraham was the father of Isaac,

Isaac the father of Jacob,

Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers,

³ Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar,

Perez the father of Hezron,

Hezron the father of Ram,

⁴ Ram the father of Amminadab,

Amminadab the father of Nahshon,

Nahshon the father of Salmon,

⁵ Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab,

Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth,

Obed the father of Jesse,

⁶ and Jesse the father of King David.

David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah’s wife,

⁷ Solomon the father of Rehoboam,

Rehoboam the father of Abijah,

Abijah the father of Asa,

⁸ Asa the father of Jehoshaphat,

Jehoshaphat the father of Jehoram,

Jehoram the father of Uzziah,

⁹ Uzziah the father of Jotham,

Jotham the father of Ahaz,

Ahaz the father of Hezekiah,

¹⁰ Hezekiah the father of Manasseh,

Manasseh the father of Amon,

Amon the father of Josiah,

¹¹ and Josiah the father of Jeconiah^[c] and his brothers at the time of the exile to Babylon.

¹² After the exile to Babylon:

Jeconiah was the father of Shealtiel,

Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel,

¹³ Zerubbabel the father of Abihud,

Abihud the father of Eliakim,

Eliakim the father of Azor,

¹⁴ Azor the father of Zadok,

Zadok the father of Akim,

Akim the father of Elihud,

¹⁵ Elihud the father of Eleazar,

Eleazar the father of Matthan,

Matthan the father of Jacob,

¹⁶ and Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, and Mary was the mother of Jesus who is called the Messiah.

This is just a bunch of names. How is this important? I used to think the same thing, and then I learned about those names. 

The first woman listed is Tamar. Now, you would think the first woman listed in the line of Jesus - the Messiah, savior of the world - would be an honorable, holy woman. Ummm - NO. Tamar actually was involved in incest. He husband was killed by God because he was an evil man before Tamar could get pregnant. She was then promised to his brother so the line could continue, but he was also killed by God for being evil (this was a common practice back then, so not the incestuous part). Tamar wanted a child from this line so she disguised herself as a prostitute and sold herself to her father-in-law in order to get pregnant. Not exactly the most righteous lady...yet she was used by God.

Next is Rahab. Rahab was a prostitute. She lived in Jericho and harbored two of Joshua's spies sent into town to check things out. She agreed to cover for them if they agreed to spare her family when Joshua and his army invaded Jericho. She did not know God because she was not Jewish, but she had faith in Him anyway.  Her family was spared and Jesus is her descendent as well. Again, not the most righteous of women...

Then there is Ruth. She was a Moabite who remained loyal to her mother-in-law after her husband passed away. She could have gone her own way, but she chose to be loyal. She ended up marrying another kinsmen-redeemer (another story for another time) and gave birth to Jesse, who was the father of King David.

Then we have Bathsheba.  She had an affair with King David. Then David had her husband killed to cover up his guilt. Again, not the greatest people. Yet all are in the line of Jesus.
I love this genealogy first because of all the names.  Yes, they are confusing, but they are listed in God's word, so they are important to God.  He knows all of their names, just like He knows my name.  He knew it before I was born and He will know it for all time. That makes me feel good.  And then I love this because none of these people were perfect - in fact, they were exactly the opposite of perfect. They were selfish, stubborn, mean.  All those things I am.  And if God can use these people, why can't He use me?
We are all sinners. Every one of us. And yet God created all of us. And He knew that we were going to be sinners. Yet, He still loves us. And He still wants to know us. He wants us to know Him. And if we will just do that - accept His love and get to know Him, then He will change us and use us.
So that's why I'm starting 2014 with this simple plan - to spend time getting to know the one who created me; the one who loves me so much that he sacrificed His son; the one who knows me inside and out and still shows me much love and grace and mercy. It is with His love and grace and mercy and power that I can be different this year. 

Because if something changes, then everything changes.....